Sunday, November 9, 2008

It's been a while..

It's been a while since I have blogged about the project. During these past few weeks I have continued to spend countless hours on the book, from shooting photos, to editing, to working with some page layouts. I have grown very attached to this project this semester and have become more so attached after the depressing passing of proposition 8. It's sad to be considered a second class citizen for being gay when under the constitution we are supposed to be all created equal. We took one huge step with welcoming pres-elect Obama but at the same time took a huge step back in eliminating rights for gays in California. As protests and rallies continue I feel like this project has giving me something to share with society. I talked to Tim Miller a little bit about the project and he agrees that these "are straightjacket times."

Like I said, the past few weeks have been really busy. I had a couple of performances, one with Dough Patterson and Michael Mufson, and another with Olive Berienga at the Museum of Man, GREAT EXPERIENCES!! I was even in the school newspaper under the Student Spotlight section. It felt pretty cool to be in the newspaper and have one of the straightjacket photos in it, it was kind of liberating.

I have finished taking all of the photos that I need to complete the book using 7-8 different people. After taking photos of them I had them write some reflections as to what they thought about while they were in the jacket and how they felt. Some had some extreme hatred towards the current decision of denying people their rights and chose to write about it. I will use their writings as the text in my book, I plan on scanning in what they wrote and taking bits and pieces placing words and phrases on the page spreads. Being that it will be their writing I think it will be more intimate, it'll bring viewers into the pages of the book and maybe even allow them to reflect on a time where they felt oppression.

Surprisingly it wasn't that hard to get the people I was photographing to be serious and get into an emotion, I figured it might be awkward and they wouldn't know what to do, but everyone did great and I couldn't be happier. The set up for the latest pictures remained in my garage like the others. The use of the light kit really helped with different light and exposures, I wouldn't have known what to do without it.

Taking photos of one of my best friends was a lot of fun. What I have noticed about the photo shoots is that whatever relationship I had with the person before taking the pictures seemed to grow a little bit more after taking the pictures. I find out a little bit more about my friends, things thats that they hold to themselves but let out to me as they were in the straightjacket. The relationship between me and the person being shot grew on a more intimate level, and not only did I learn more about them, but they too learned about me and the oppression being felt.

Shotting pictures of my family was a bit difficult and kind of an emotional process for me. Seeing them in the straightjacket made me sad because I would never wish for them to feel how I feel for being gay or for any reason. Again, it brought me closer to them. They have always known that I liked art and would probably do something with it, but they regretted to look at it for the meaning, especially with this project. Being in the jacket made things more real for them, it opened up their eyes and gave them a new perspective. FINALLY! I was being taken seriously. My friends too kind of had the same come-to moment after the shoot was over, saying "Casey I never knew you felt this way, you do such a good job at playing it off and not letting it show." I told this person that this was a main reason for my oppression, everyone has this image of me always being happy and not letting anything bother me, but the truth is that deep down it kills me. No one imagines that I can think like this so its a sense of relief when they can meet me on this level.

My brother did a great job, and there was not much direction needed for him. I took photos of him the day after the election, the day I found out that gays would be denied their right to marry and considered a second class citizen. He came over distraught but was ready to dive into it. He talked about how it was uncomfortable and how he just wanted to get out but couldn't. He made the connection that this is how someone gay can feel, wanting to break free but really not being able to. He brings up how religions promote the sanctity of marriage, and how neighboring families voted yes on the proposition, all whom push us gay people back into the corner. He always brings up the idea that its "NOT A CHOICE." Shooting my brother was something really special that made our understandings of each other stronger, he knows how I feel and I now know how much he cares.

My two cousins came down from Los Angeles so I could take some photos and I couldn't have been happier. It was nothing different, our relationship opened up and deepened more. I never imagined that I could grow closer to my family, but through this project I feel like they were really able to see me on the inside and not just the outside.

I have decided that I'm going to keep the guys in a black and white tone, since guys are a little more restricted with their emotions, and to keep the girls in kind of a sepia more color tone, since are able to more freely express their emotions.

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